I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
