How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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