there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
FUCK WHALES
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
