If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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