somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize