I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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