what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
