Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
