We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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