he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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