I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
