Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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