i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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