so that wasnt chicken after all
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
