party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize