I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
