At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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