i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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