hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
