i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize