I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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