Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
