So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
