feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
