you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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