Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize