Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
