1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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