What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
