remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
