I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
