He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this just has baby written all over it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
