Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
