i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
