some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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