ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
