just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
