Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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