My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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