I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
try to milk me bitch
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