I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
