Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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