ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
