My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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