The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The air was thick with penises
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
