It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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