I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
