i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
