i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
