i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
