I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
