Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the condom got lost in my hair
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
