does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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