like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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